This is a good place to be when you need to turn away from a negative situation - good for you for being mindful of your actions.
I do believe, like me, you are repressing instead of dealing. Similar to when an alcoholic abstains from booze but is not recovering - you are white-knuckling your way through your feelings. It was only in the last few months that I've really been able to deal with some real inner turmoil - it's painful but it gets you to a better place.
Right now it seems like you are doing what they call in Al Anon - faking it until you make it. It feels awkward yet kind of good to detach, but it's still new and it's not yet fully understood nor ingrained in a new approach to serenity for your life. And this is why a program like Al Anon works - you actually start to see things differently and you no longer white knuckle it. It's really amazing. I used to feel the same way as you and it feels like it's the only way. And yet today, I no longer fear when he goes out, I have peace, even if a thought or 2 slip in I'm able to deal and dismiss. I know that if he were to drink then I could handle it. I'm capable, I'm strong to deal with the consequences.
Think of it this way - you are wearing your life jacket 24/7 because you fear that at some point you might get thrown in the pool at some indeterminate time and won't be able to swim. It ain't very comfortable and it's downright awkward and it interferes with your daily life. But if you know you can swim, then you can safely remove the life jacket because you know that if you are thrown in the pool you will make it out safely.
Eventually you will wear these new ideas in just like wearing in a new pair of shoes and they will become like slippers. You won't have to work with every fiber of your being to prevent yourself from checking up, calling in, worrying. Just take it one day at a time, one hour or minute even if you need to, and keep concentrating on yourself, and bring yourself back if your mind wanders or if you get an urge to check up. Because even checking up won't prevent anything if it's in his mind to do it.