I think Pelican says it very succinctly - you made him responsible for your happiness, and now he's told you he's done everything you asked, and still now you're not ready to come back? Like a kid who says he did his homework, brushed his teeth like you asked, now can he please watch tv? And yet you say but it's still not enough, let's talk about it. And the kid just wants to watch tv.
And as I said, as long as it doesn't come from him, it will never work. He got sober, goes to meetings, what more do you want? He needs to be going to meetings because he wants to, because it helps him. Otherwise you will always be on the merry go round. Not engaging when he continues to hook you in is the first step. I told my AH recently when he tried to talk to me about his recovery - and I said, I don't wish to talk about it, your recovery is yours. I won't speak to him about it, but I'm watching his actions which will tell me everything I need to know about whether he is really recovering. Perhaps that approach can help you.