Thread: Why?
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Old 08-26-2010, 03:53 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Learn2Live
To thine own self be true.
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Why them and not you? Your way of thinking is a rational one. Unfortunately, nothing about alcoholism is rational. The alcoholic is not rational and none of the usual rules of life or relationships apply. The disease takes over the thinking of the person. All decisions are made in support of the continuation of the drinking and the survival of the alcoholism. It helped me to see the disease as a monster that has taken over the person's body and directs his or her every step. The decisions they make are not rational ones. They are unhealthy. We look at their behavior and it makes no sense because it is so harmful to everyone involved and often think then that it must be because there is something wrong with US. We think the A has chosen someone else over us. When that is not the case at all. They have only chosen drinking over not drinking. Like Summer said, it is entirely NOTHING to do with you. A few years ago, I learned to tell myself, lthe world does not revolve around me," which helped me to feel better that the A had "chosen someone else." His choice to dump me for another woman was not a reflection on me at all. It's the simple fact that she drank and I would not allow him to drink in my home or my presence. Stand up for yourself. That is what No Contact really tells them. You will no longer insult me by your refusal to fully engage with me in a healthy manner.

Keep up the good work staying no contact.
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