Phineas,
I am so sorry for the pain and chaos you are experiencing. Although the alcoholic in my life is my sister, I recognize a lot of the same patterns and traits that you described in your posts...my AS has been drinking for 12 years; she has been to countless rehab and recovery programs. She has made promises, threats, accusations, and blamed everyone and anyone for her drinking. She has told me that I do not love her because I set boundaries for her behavior. She uses guilt and manipulation to continue to drink. She makes up incredible stories and has threatened and attempted suicide numerous times. As her sister, the last 12 years have been chaotic, heartbreaking, and frustrating. I love her, but I could no longer stand by and watch her self-destruct. No amount of my love will save her; she has to save herself. I understand the guilt you feel; that one is tough...but know that your fiancee has to do this for herself, and she has to want it badly. I have found this forum to be an incredible place of support..I hope you will continue to post and know that we are all here to listen to you and support you. Sending you good thoughts.