ExCordis - that's good advice that Suki has given you. The next few days are going to be really hard but they will only be that much harder if you allow any kind of contact. The huge benefit of eliminating contact altogether is that you give yourself some breathing room to think things through on your own, without interference or influence. You will start to get re-acquainted with yourself again and things will become much more clear...and much sooner ....if you can just stay away from him. No Contact is actually a gift you give yourself. I know this because I have done it the "wrong way" many times. Don't do what I did. (((((Hugs)))) Take care of YOURSELF.