My AH was in AA for about 20 years (m)
and started "testing the waters" so to speak. He had several dui's lost his license, earned it back by going through the program and recovering. Three of the guys who stood up in our wedding 13 years ago were AA members, one was his sponsor. Apparently my AH has been testing the waters for a while, stopping for a few, I naively didn't conclude he was drinking at all since hey he's been in AA successfully for so long. I think the Alcoholic who wants to "try" to moderate does not do so successfully. My AH in his testing of just a few turned out to be more and more frequent, didn't come home a few nights (slept in his car), had a one car accident. Then I KNEW, approached him asked him to go back to AA, he went through the motions, I told him if he was an active alcoholic he is at risk of losing his family life, his home, his boat, his truck, his children would have supervised visits. Yep, he's the kindest most big hearted person I've ever met, but soon after the accident despite everything he "said" to me, he stopped for a few 13 days ago, which was even more devastating to me because here I thought he had hit his "new" rock bottom a few months ago while driving his truck into our subdivision, without a tire, after hitting a guard rail, and having four state troopers at our front door. So, I'm sorry to say that moderation for an alcoholic, in my own experience, isn't a success story. No flames at all for asking your question, it is a valid question, and I'm BRAND NEW to this site, so I just wanted to share my story. My very best wishes to you.