Have a day great Chicory!
I read here once, I forgot who said it I'm sorry and I might be repeating...
But they said "don't deny your child the gift of rock bottom"
My RAH has called it the "gift of desperation"
I think as mother's we feel guilty about everything bad that happens to our kids. And we'll take pride in all good. It's part of being mommy.
Nature and instinct is what drives us. Putting your child out goes against everything we are made of, it's just not supposed to happen. That is why it is so impossible.
But nature (or God) never factored in drugs and alcohol. I know it's sort of a deep theory. But I think the normal parenting rules don't apply. With d&A abuse we have to do what it is learned not what instinct dictates.
You will do the right thing for you and your son at the right time.
Stop punishing yourself Chicory. You are a wonderful mom no matter what decision you come to.
HUGS