I keep coming back to your post chickory as it was one of my nightmares and yes I think for one person, I have been through enough in my life, buts thats whole other story. But I have learned alot.
Its ok to cry, I cried so many times because I felt so helpless, I thought I was fighting for my childs life, and I think I was. Yes, maybe your son will need a huge crisis in his life - for change. I hope not - we just never know what the next day will bring living in fear. When we let go of that fear (that person we dont know) and leave them to work it out for themselves, we just never know what road they will choose but I had to take that chance because I couldnt do it for him.
My son still wobbles off the road sometimes, but he always knows the road to home. A peaceful home that wont put up with any b_llsh_t again.
Take some time to rest Chickory.
JJ