Thank you , for responding. I do feel the caring from you guys. I feel really badly for posting something that is all about "what not to do" as a parent of an adult child who would use and drink , as it becomes possible.
He has a warrant out for his arrest, due to unpaid fines. someone gave him a pipe of pot for his birthday, when he was living in his car , in a college town. they fine you 500$ for even having one cig of pot. in that town. He had no money, did not buy pot or sell it. heck, he could not even buy anything. I tried not to help him, as I had put him out of my home, due to his being an out of control drunk. punching walls, and screaming, etc. he had no money for the fines, and he would go to jail if they came to take him out of my house. I dont think that is where he belongs, or I'd call them . He is disturbed and troubled, and i feel he is on an edge.
maybe that is where he needs to be, to want to live differently. He has always been an isolated person, staying in his room on the computer, no matter what else was going on. I wish i had not let him, but he has always been the kind of kid who argues with you, and as a single mom, he out-argued me. I gave up, to keep my sanity. he has had friends, but he would live on /with them, until they moved away. they never could reach him either. he always feels that they should treat him as he would do them.
I want more than anything for him to be a man, and do for his self. believe me, i want his happiness more than my own life. i'd trade it for his happiness. i have lived a long time, and messed up most of my life. he has not had any of the good things in life. it makes me sad. i dont think he is capable, really. he cannot seem to function, in a daily job, where he has to think about his job. he is so distracted by his computer -life.
I feel he has a mental issue, i have said before. but how can you make someone who refuses to even consider that, get any help? how will he ever want to? I dont think he will. would he not have shown some sort of normalcy in his life, at some point? he always loved dungeons and dragons, computer games, and pot and beer.
anything to escape from this world.
yes, he is a manipulator, to the max. he lies, and i feel he will steal next. if he goes bonkers , i will have no choice but to put him out. it is a rental that i live in, and will not let him destroy anything here.
I am sorry , for this stupid sounding , complaint filled post. I really do want things to be better. I just am feeling so stuck.
I will read the posts you suggested, thank you so much.
hugs,
chicory
p.s. i knew this was coming. that is why i am here.