Hi Jos
It's impossible to communicate anything to someone who is actively drinking. That's a fact.
So we walk around with this stupid smile on our faces pretending everyhting is just fine and talking about the weather.
Because we are waiting for some to happen... is he going to stop drinking or am i going to leave?...
I felt sooo lost and detached in
every way. I wanted a marriage that had intimacy and trust, and it is impossible with an active drinker. You have to keep them at an arm's length. So what is there to talk about?
How do you confide in someone about feelings and what kind of recovery we are working on, when deep down we know, either they don't care or will use it against us in some way.
That why I just don't feel detachment in marriage works - your either together or not.
I'm just verbalizing the way I felt before I finally gave up trying.
I really don't have any answers but I was never able to do it - detach like they suggest. It wasn't how I wanted my marriage to be.
