stigmatized

Hi everybody,

I've been lurking for a while. Just thought it was time to say hello and tell you a little about myself. I have been with my ABF for about a year. Actually it's been longer because we were high school sweethearts but went separate ways for a while. We never forgot about each other and then after my divorce we met again and were friends for a year. He went to Tennessee and worked at a bar where he drank so much I thought he would kill himself. Then he ended up on my doorstep a year ago homeless, drunk and sad. So we started living together and he held it together for a while helping around the house and helping with the kids. Then he lost control and got sober for 2 months. Then the cycle started again and he lost control big time. I told him to leave and he spun out of control but I just watched from the sidelines and hoped he would not kill himself. I would see him now and then (time span about 3 weeks) and each time he looked worse until one night he ended up reaching out for help and got himself to a rehab. He has now been sober 9 days after a 5 day detox and he is staying at a homeless shelter. I'm learning a lot about codependency and alcoholism while he's doing his thing. I've said that I want to be with him when we can both be healthy and so he needs to do what he needs to do to be healthy and I need to do what I need to do to be healthy. I think we are both on a good path for ourselves. I know that the only guarantee I have is the reality that I create for myself so that is what my days are about right now. We talk about once a day and his progress makes me happy for him. We are both being selfish in a productive way. I'm reading codependent no more and when love is not enough and will probably go to a al anon meeting this week. Anyway, hi and I'm thankful for a place where it seems good advice abounds and people are supportive.