Naive said, "the issue here is not what he or she do, it is what you are willing to live with...your boundaries. there is no right or wrong really, it's 100% what you want and need in your significant relationship."
AMEN to that!
Katie, I've been there. There is nothing wrong with wanting what you want. Say that out loud: "There is nothing wrong with me wanting what I want."
No matter what excuses he has for saying you "should" do one thing or another, you have to live with you EVERY DAY, and he is optional. Ditto for that "friend".
I used to have "friends" like that. No more. Some I still see at the store, etc., and I pleasantly smile as I'm walking on by--no stopping to chat at all...no need...another empty well that I don't need to revisit, or wait to see if it ever gets water in it. I found all kinds of abundance in other friendships (including the connections here!), no need for those other "friends" anymore. I wish them the best, and move on.
Sending you hugs,
posie