Holy Cow!!! Panda
More whining and selfish thoughts
You can vent with best of them!
My recovery alcohlic husband has been sober for 15 months now. Before that it was relapse and recovery over and over.
I finally had to separate.
6 months away from his family and hitting rock bottom helped him decide what he wanted for his life and what he had to to to get it.
First his sobriety, which enabled him to get his family back.
He has try to explain why he would choose alcohol over his family for so long, I heard him talking but I never truly understood, I never will.
But it does matter what I understand, just that he does. I'm just the bystander to his alcoholism.
It has no baring on how much I love him or care for him or any of that. It's just the realization that HE owns his disease. It took years to learn that (I didn't know about SR and I didn't like Al-anon) so that's that.
This is going to take time for you to get where you need/want to be.
You will go through every emotion in the book and probably make up some new ones.
Yes your heart will feel like it's been ripped from your chest (among other delightful feelings
- learning to cope with those emotions are part of this process.
Learning how to control those emotions that control us - so that we're not walking zombies just getting by miserably.
But you can get throught this - look at where you have come from -
Good God!!! this will be cake
7
Well... maybe not I just wanted to use that smile.
We are here for you Sweetie