me86

Can someone help me understand the difference between the "rules" of recovering alcoholics who are in relationships and those that are married?

I am in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic, whose drinking has not really been a burden on our relationship at all, and he has been a great man, although I suspect his drinking has been a burden on him and therefore he, and therefore the relationship, could be better. We have been together for 3 and a half years. Don't really subscribe to the marriage tradition at this point in our lives, and are wondering the reality of the situation for two people who are not married but are in a committed, dedicated, and overall very supportive relationship.

He has had a few slip in the past few years-which I was oblivious to until recently. So I support him recovering and being honest with himself and everyone.

I know the guideline/understanding is, is that recovering alcoholics should take a year to be alone while in recovery. But what about people who are already in a relationship that is worth keeping and working with?

I am also taking time, during this time, to work on myself as well--for the record.

Thanks for your insight! It is a confusing issue for us.