It's like a light bulb when I finally saw it - and now I can recognize it when it's happening and try hard not to trudge down the road. I recognize that over so many years I stepped on so many people, AH included, not respecting them or their boundaries. At the time it felt ok because I justified why mine was the right way, but now realize how unaware I was. As my sponsor says - you don't know what you don't know. Once you do know, it really opens your eyes.