Hi - I'm Lori, and my life has been effected by alcohol.
My husband is cross addicted, and recently admitted himself into detox for oxycontin and alcohol (a recipe for death).
He has been out over a month now - and to the best of my knowledge is clean and sober. I am very proud of him.
We both have begun attending church on Sundays and I feel it is helping me a lot.
I have attended a few Al-anon meetings but still have not found a sponsor.
The issues I am having:
When my husband got out of detox - part of his aftercare was to attend intensive outpatient therapy 4 days a week - for 3.5 hours a day and attended a
MINIMUM of 3 AA or NA meetings a week. He went to about 3 therapy sessions and pretty much quit. My husband is on disability for "chronic pain" - and he claimed he could not sit for 3.5 hours...it sounded like an "excuse to me - but I didn't say anything (but inside I was VERY disappointed). He IS attending AA meetings - but I don't think he's going to 3 a week. He did get a sponsor - and he is currently working on Step 4 with his sponsor.
I know in al-anon meetings they tell you
NOT to try to control the addict. While my husband appears to be clean & sober - he's also doing things the I
KNOW they tell you in rehab NOT to do. I know (because my son was in rehab several times) that one of the biggest rules in recovery is to "abstain from PEOPLE, PLACES & THINGS".
Before my husband entered detox...he was drinking DAILY (all day) at his friend Pete's house.
My husband and Pete formed the bond. Immediately after getting out of detox - I "advised" my husband that he would probably be best to stay away from Pete since Pete drinks from the time he wakes up - until he closes his eyes at night...and I felt Pete would be a sure "trigger" for my husband to drink.
My husband got teary eyed at "the thought" of giving up Pete as a friend.
Pete was relentless in calling my husband - and for the first few weeks after my husband got home - I was "intercepting" as many calls as I could...even though I knew it was wrong...I couldn't help myself. Apparently Pete got through to my husband while I was at work.
It wasn't long before my husband admitted to stopping at Pete's rental property (that he was getting ready for new tenants) to see Pete. My husband "swears" that Pete does not have any alcohol at his rental units. I want to believe my husband - but I KNOW Pete. And besides that...how did my husband KNOW for sure that Pete didn't have any alcohol there
before he stopped??? My husband told me that he was "okay" and not to worry -
"It's not like I'm stopping at Pete's house - where I use to drink everyday."....
I am worried sick about this - and I don't know what to do. I AM PRAYING - and I pretty much have put it in God's hands...but I am still worried. I don't know that my marriage can handle a relapse at this point.
My husband just told me lastnight - that he stopped at his sisters to drop off tomotoes from his parents (his sister rents a house from Pete - ON PETE'S PROPERTY). So while he was there - he stopped in at Pete's house. Is this the beginning of the end???
What do I do? Let go and let God?
Any and all advice is GREATLY appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
Lori Ann