Well first of all, I think that close friends of 30 years should be not only able to respectfully dialogue about everything, esp. those things that are important, they should want to it seems to me.
Every once in awhile, you will probably touch on a sensitive subject in which you don't see eye to eye, and might agree to disagree, and move away from it. But it doesn't sound from the original post that that's the deal.
Yes, you're right about not giving her advice. You done good, buddy.
But I do think, especially given your recent growth and change of perspective, that these would be relevant, healthy and possibly meaningful kinds of discussions to have w/each other.
Or am I missing something?