One thing I have heard is that the alcoholic's emotion maturity stalls when start drinking.
My RAH started drinking at the ripe old age of 12, so his emotion maturity is around that (great).
I watch and listen to my 11 year old son as he tortures and torments his sisters and it dawns on my he's a little gaslighter. Twisting things around, outright lying... and their reaction is "he's driving us crazy".
But he's being an 11 year old brother - that's his job right now. Eventually as he matures he will learn how to deal with others and learn his job is not to drive people crazy. (hopefully)
But that's IF he matures.
Not in all cases of course, but when someone starts drinking early in life there is so much that is not learned, so much maturing that doesn't happen. In fact there can be damage to a developing brain.
I think that's why most of time we feel like we are dealing with a child or worse (when drinking) like someone who's actually brain damaged. Wackoooo
Sometime I look at my husband and I see that little boy from BIG - ya' know when Tom Hanks turns back into the boy with the big suit and shoes.
"They" say once they stop drinking they can catch up and learn to cope and deal and be adults, but it take times.
That's just one theory...
