But I don't give him that same room. I go further by trying to tell him what I think he needs to do, place expectation on him of the spouse I want him to be, impose my own thoughts and opinions on his; wanting to know what he's thinking and evaluate those thoughts. He wants to spend a beautiful sunny day at the computer and I'd be saying it's a beautiful day, let's go shopping and shouldn't we get some gardening done while it's nice out cuz you never know when it's going to rain? In that example I'm not respecting his desire to spend his free time doing something he wants. I can garden on my own, no? But I'd have a huge tendency to want to do these kinds of things - get my way because I think I'm right or that's what we should do.