Originally Posted by
Joslyn 
He is a GOOD father, he is just active alcoholic one, a better father would be a RECOVERING alcoholic.
How does a codependent keep their mouth shut lol. I'm dying to say something!
I know I need to have the talk with him about whether he intends to go down a recovery path or an active path. I'm concerned based on last week's conversation (when I didn't know any better!), when I kept asking what HIS plan was to resolve this.
For me detaching means to let go of the alcoholics recovery/drinking. The choice to continue to drink or choose recovery belongs with the person doing the drinking.
It appears from your post, that your A is still drinking and not choosing recovery. His actions are the best indicator of his plans. He chooses to drink.
Your choice is how you respond to living with an active alcoholic. Alanon and Codependent No More can guide you into keeping your focus on yourself.
I refer to it as putting down the magnifying glass that we used to observe and analyze everything thing the A does/says, and picking up the mirror to look at our own actions and reactions. It allows me to look at the only person I have control over, myself. It gives the other adults in my life the opportunity to control their own lives also.
By detaching, I allowed my A to experience their own consequences for their behavior without my involvement. I gave them responsibility for their own actions.
Congrats on taking steps to take better care of yourself!
Keep on keeping on!