He doesn't hate you, he hates it that your gut is speaking to him. See, he knows what he is doing, and, addicts never like to be called on anything, they live in a world of excuses and lies.
I hope that you are wrong, however, all the signs are there.
Do what is best for you and your husband, at 23 your son is an adult, no longer a kid.
I feel your pain, and, I am sorry.