This is where "let go and let God" comes into play Tormented. None of us has any control over another, and the sooner we realize this, the better off everyone involved is.
To stop worrying about my AH's problems, and stop wondering about the seemingly happy couples I saw all about me, and to stop playing the horrors over and over and over in my head, I had to acknowledge that his issue has nothing to do with me, is totally NOT ABOUT ME - and then I was able to Let Go, and Let God guide him.