thank you so much for your replies. i will have to pick up that book. i talked to my family, and they are going to help pay for me to go to therapy until my insurance comes back. i want to be an independent person. i WAS until all of this, and you guys have helped me realize that i have lost a lot of that.
i feel so much better hearing the support from you guys, people who have been in similar situations or know the mind of addicts/alcoholics. i appreciate it so much.
yesterday i made plans with a nice, stable, not-my-usual-type guy and we are going to the theatre tonight. i am goingt o remind myself that there ARE other fish in the sea, and i deserve to be loved. thank you for helping me remember that.