Welcome back Cali!
It has been a few weeks since your last post. It appears the cycle continues. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It will continue to get worse, not better. Have you taken any steps to make changes for yourself?
I found Alanon meetings a source of calm. One hour of serenity. A place to exhale and be around people that understood what it felt like to live with active alcoholism. Just like being here, but with real, sober hugs if needed.
Here is a link to some recommended steps for families of alcoholics:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html