Jessi, I'm an adult child and I'm only just learning in my 30s what healthy actually looks like. One of my parents has a serious alcohol abuse problem that just wasn't discussed openly - I mean ever. It was "normal" to see an adult start drinking after work and pass out by 9pm. There was a lot of frustration - and it played out in a number of seriously unhealthy family dynamics. There was no violence but in every respect we were an alcoholic home and nobody talked about the elephant in the room.
I started to talk about it with my family in my 20s and I got the deep freeze from my siblings. Even now, it's an extremely touchy subject and it's only now that I'm in alanon that I'm getting a full picture of how it has affected me and my choices as an adult.
I think you are amazing for wanting better for both your child and -yourself-. I agree with everyone who has said that if it's all you know, anything can seem "normal."
Hugs,
SL.