It is absolutely horrid...and hurtful...and hateful...and any other negative word I can think of. It has been like this for SO long that it just is what it is. I am very worried about he no contact thing. Of course it is NO big deal if he doesn't answer when I call, but he will call my boys cell phones to reach me, or as you can see above when I don't respond he will start texting me bad message and accuse me of all sorts of things. I am exhausted by his behavior and it confuses me because it is such an odd, false and manipulative thing for him...he attempts to make his distorted reality into everyone's reality. He doesn't even drink much anymore...this is just who he is!! I feel in love with the man I thought he was...apparently I did not meet the person he really is, or didn't acknowledge it til now because it is so strange. He is a youth minister at a church, does great work with the kids....and well if you have read my posts, you know a COMPLETELY different person. I love that youth minister, but I hate my life w/ him!