It was important for me to do the right thing, too. The only way I was able to determine what was best for me, and in a round-about way, my late alcoholic boyfriend was to try a number of things and determine what yielded me the best results.
I did a lot of reading about codependency and alcoholism and participated on this forum every day. Some people find attending Alanon and counseling to be quite helpful, too, but I personally did not pursue those routes.
Did I make a lot of mistakes and a lot of poor choices along the way? You bet. But ultimately I found a path to a better life despite the choices that my boyfriend made.
The best way I found to let go was to focus on what I wanted out of life, how I wanted to live it, and what I was willing and not willing to tolerate from my loved ones.
Welcome to SR.