silkspin

Your story is eerily like mine. Although it sounds like the addiction was a lot more serious and involved more types of drugs, alcohol and marijuana were regulars in my household. We too have a 3 year old girl. I intellectualized this whole thing. The codie in me, armed with a degree in psychology, rolled my sleeves up to tackle this head on. Whatever it took. When first proposed to me, I didn't go to Al Anon thinking I'll show everyone too how I could do this. My AH was sober almost 1.5 years, after I ran out of options and separated from him for a time. We've recently dealt with a relapse, and although horrible in its own right, has really taught me some important things and solidified my own recovery with Al Anon.

It' amazing how much responsibility we take for this disease. It wasn't really my fight, so although I did at the time, I no longer consider it defeat on my part. I remember when I was a kid, I'd occasionally come across an arcade game in a mall or something. I remember moving the joystick and thinking I was controlling the game, and it was just the demo playing over and over. With him, I thought I was directing, fixing and really I was just working within an illusion. It sounds like you have really taken strides in your own recovery and good for you for letting him have his. It's really what we need to do and what will ultimately bring us peace in our lives regardless of our outcomes.