Learn2Live

I used to try to make things easier on everybody, especially alcoholics and addicts, because I felt so badly for them (and often because I would panic). I actually felt guilty when things did not go smoothly for people and would drop everything I was doing, and/or majorly inconvenience myself, and/or take on more hard work, and/or spend large sums of money I could ill afford to spend, in order to "help" them. I also used to take on feelings of responsibility and/or blame for ALL SORTS of things that had absolutely NOTHING to do with me. (I can remember taking on responsibility and blame like this as far back as age 15).

But recently I have discovered that most people over the age of 5 are actually capable of taking good care of themselves and of accomplishing things on their own. I have discovered that feeling the need to "help" other people and their circumstances is actually me feeling sorry for them. And honestly, I have learned that feeling sorry for someone is not honorable or respectful of them. It actually means I think I am BETTER THAN them. And that's self-righteousness disguised as morality.

Another thing I realized about myself recently is that I tend to overdramatize and emotionalize things. Things such as what you are talking about BrooklynGirl. Do you know how many times I personally have gone in search of help and been turned away or turned down? Probably at least a thousand. And was it ever really THAT difficult? No, not really. And what being turned down or turned away actually did was strengthen my resolve to accomplish whatever it is I wanted to accomplish. If someone had always done it for me, I would never have become so damn persistent.

So, you see, when we do for others what they can (and SHOULD) do for themselves, when we do not allow others to meet their OWN challenges head on, we do them a huge disservice. We actually succeed in WEAKENING the very people we love.

Let Go, hon, and Let God.