Hey Musicislove82,
Thanks for the input,I've been trying to keep in touch with this site and it really has helped me since.I did come to realize that I cannot change him,and of course that goes with everyone.I'm still with my boyfriend,but I am more cautious to not be so vulnerable and I may have even put up a few walls.It's been a week since the last time he did something stupid,but thats you know,a week is not enough to prove anything.
I try to stop myself from thinking like,"hey,he's actually going good now,maybe I'll let these walls down" but no,it's only been a week,like I said.I came to realize that we'll never have a normal relationship until he straightens up.
I still plan on doing the things I want to,with or without him.I know for a fact,I will not let him ruin my life even if he has already ruined his own. Right now,I'm just the type of person who does like to take care of people,I do want to see where it goes,even if I know where it may already lead...there's that little glimmer of hope in my eyes. Even if he's let me down a million times,he's my best friend,I'm not gonna abandon him,but if it means I have to leave him then I will.