Old 08-08-2010, 04:41 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
stilllearning
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 218
"If it makes it easier to generalize and tell someone your story will be just like mine, then ok but not everyone who has a substance problem is an axe weilding, stealing from baby, running over grandpa type of addict. Geez. "

A lot of the people who have responded to this thread, myself included, are alcoholics in recovery. I've never wielded an ax, stolen from a baby or run over a senior. But I have been in early sobriety. And that recommendation that you abstain from starting a relationship for 12 months is golden. When I first got sober it seemed excessive - now that I'm several years down the track it seems pretty moderate.

And one of the best threads I have ever read on here was over on the alcoholics board. It was a poll on whether anyone had dated a newcomer. Lots and lots of people had - most of them only once ;-) Someone posted that they always thought the 12 month recommendation was to protect the newcomer - but that actually it was just as much about protecting the sanity of people who were working good recovery and had some time up.

It's very hard for anyone who has loved an active alcoholic to stay objective about what this disease can do to relationships. That's why there's a whole program just for us to help us stay healthy and keep our side of the street clean. I work two good programs and I'm not interested in throwing stones at anyone. But when someone asks for perspective and I think I have something to add, I'll give it. And I give it as a recovering alcoholic and a lifelong alanonic.

SL.
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