"Take what you like and leave the rest. But if the answers bug you, maybe there is a reason why. It's up to you to do what you will with that. We were all there, in that honeymoon phase, and these voices are from those who have walked in your shoes. It would be wonderful for us to have helped someone get on the right path before all the pain, but sometimes we have to walk the path of pain before we get the message."
The answers probably bug her because they weren't answers to her questions. The projection was also probably bugging her. If it makes it easier to generalize and tell someone your story will be just like mine, then ok but not everyone who has a substance problem is an axe weilding, stealing from baby, running over grandpa type of addict. Geez. And not every woman who deals with one is a slobbering co-dependent. There are many of us who really do have healthy boundaries with those we love. And that comes from having a healthy upbringing, our own accomplishments and an understanding of the complexities of addiction.
Is it a nasty illness? sure. Will he hurt you? probably Can you learn from this? YES. Can you be loving and supportive? From a healthy distance with clear boundaries and limits, yes. The one thing everyone agrees on is that it is very difficult, time consuming and energy draining. Buckle up!