Welcome to the SR family!
Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed.
You don't sound selfish to me. You sound like I did when I hit my emotional bottom of living with an active alcoholic. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of the chaos.
There is help for you. One of the things I needed to understand about my partners alcoholism was the three C's of addiction:
I did not cause it
I could not control it
I would not cure it
This is a progressive addiction. It gets worse. It is up to the alcoholic to get lasting treatment. Unfortunately, some do not succeed in kicking the addiction.
Here is one of our sticky (permanent) posts about how to help an alcoholic:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Those steps have worked for many of us.
Let us know how we can support you. You are not alone.