Thank you all again for your kindness and wisdom and boy do I need the hugs. I was so proud when she went back to school several years ago and got a degree but has since seemed paralyzed by the fear of change and no matter opportunity comes her way she finds a reason they wouldn't work for her. I divorced when she was around 12 but she and her brother have had a good life lots of love and support a few bumps in the road but no terrible hardships or abuse like some kids suffer, what the heck happened is there really nothing I can do for her? Thanks again for sharing your experience.