Carmen dear, please don't frustrate yourself trying to make her stop. In the last few weeks before I left my AH, I'd started to detach from him. I realized nothing I said, or did, or tried to manipulate would make him change. I was only hurting myself by trying. He would always put alcohol before me, it was his first love. And it turned him into a blame shifting monster. So I stopped asking him to stop drinking, and stopped responding to his angry tirades. All he got from me, whether I agreed with him or not, was "uh huh" or "okay". I went to AlAnon one or two times a week, got a counselor, and talked to my medical doctor about antidepressant meds. It's taken a while, but I'm soooo much better today than I was in November of last year.
Sweetie... please take care of yourself. You're worth so much, and don't need to be baby sitting a 30 year old drunk.