The week from HELL
Wow.
I was hit with a terrible week at work and home is such a challenge now too. Had alot of suicidal thought. Crying in my office. My husband was some help but as the week derew down by Wednesday he went to the package store. He did get me something also, I drink wine only when PTSD gets really bad and medicine doesn't work as well. I got desperate one night and drank one of his beers as he was sleeping. There I was just me and the kitchen table with a dark beer and a cheese stick hoping to God this foreign substance in my body would put it to sleep. That definately got his attetion. Of course it s Friday and its suposed to be a "dry" weekend do he can keep up with the yard work but Wed he informed me he was drinking this weekend " to get back on schedule" Like how is that for A thinking!!!
I told him because I was in such bad space- I had actually made some plans and not goood ones,- that I needed to do everything I could do for me this weekend and so I will go to Alan in the morning in efforts to try and get my head back on straight.
Lots fo time talking to the psychiatrist this week, but he is so very good to me and we averted the hospital. I did get a very good book through amazon that came yesterday and tonight very shortly Iwill s it on the deck and read for a couple of hours. thank god for mail people as I had not the strength or the will to go to the local bookstore.
Spouse is in Gods hands tonight--------NOT MINE!!!! because I am physically and mentally spent Itrust that God will do a fine job.