It looks like you may have misunderstood my post. From what you posted, I could see that you don't want to let him go, and the thought of it is tearing you apart. I just wanted to add that there are all sorts of options and workable solutions available. Rehoming is just one option.
So, what would you have preferred from me in support? An "I'm sorry" or to offer a few methods that worked well for me throughout the years that might also work for you?