Originally Posted by
ChrrisT 
Would we be consider codependents if not for the alcoholics in our lives?
As others have said in this thread, these behaviors or "reactions" come from living with an alcoholic.
But for me the shame comes from knowing that I became this person I didn't even recognize...
Prior to (life with an alcoholic) I felt strong and independent. I didn't take crap from anyone. I was reasonable. I believed in " ya' say what you mean and mean what you say" And because of this person (the alcoholic) I'm in a situation where I'm trying to make sense of things that are so unreasonable. I lost all control over MYSELF. Every time I was like " What the HELL am I doing??!!"
I was so naive to what alcoholism is, the power of it. Over him and over me. Him over me!
And then to be given a label such as codependent or worse -INSANE - And to say I have a problem as serious as the alcoholic. Forget about it!!
That's not the way I define codependency, although the literature is so namby-pamby that I'm not surprised that hardly anyone understands it. I need NO relationships in order to be "codependent," because IMO codependency is a chemical addiction to adrenaline brought on by crisis, rescuing, "other centered concerns" emergencies, hopelessness (after failure upon failure) self-pity, etc. The relationship with an addict of any sort is just a natural....who better to provide that adrenaline rush, that stomache wrenching feeling of "he lied to me AGAIN." In this sense, you'll find most nurses, cops and firefighters with codependent tendencies....excitement freaks. IOW...it differs from other drug addictions only by the drug of choice and it's particular effect on a person's life, brain, and spirit.
blessings
z