Thread: Guilt
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Old 08-06-2010, 07:17 AM
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Kindeyes
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
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Guilt

I had a great session with my therapist yesterday. Our focus was on forgiveness....specifically self forgiveness. In theory, we have to forgive ourselves before we can forgive others, right? We were going through an exercise when we hit on the topic of guilt and it hit a nerve. A huge nerve. And here is what I learned about myself.

I carry a huge amount of guilt. HUGE.

The three C's. I can say them all day long but for me.....it has really been more the two C's. I can completely accept that I can't control it and I can't cure it (believe me I've tried both and it doesn't work! lol) But the "cause" thing........THAT's the "C" I have problems with. If I'd been a more perfect mother, certainly my son wouldn't have become an addict, right? GUILT.

My therapist pointed out to me that guilt has a purpose. It keeps us from repeating mistakes or puts us into action but when we carry guilt that is no longer SERVING A PURPOSE, we need to let it go or perhaps "do" something to get rid of it (like "call your mother"). If we're simply carrying it around because of historical life issues, it only continues to cause us pain and discomfort and SERVES NO PURPOSE.

She said "Ask yourself.....is this guilt serving me? If you answer yes....then DO something about it. But if the answer is no......let it go."

WHAM!!!!

I got it!!!!!!

I was a pretty darn good mother--not a perfect mother--but pretty darn good. I'm a pretty darn good human being. I'm NOT perfect and that's ok.

I didn't CAUSE my son to become an addict!

What a relief!

A HUGE weight has been taken off of my shoulders by simply accepting that I didn't CAUSE it.

gentle hugs
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