Originally Posted by
ChrrisT 
But the thing is - the A is usually not lying. My husband told me that every time he said "he wasn't going to drink anymore" he meant it, in his mind he was done, but then...
So isn't that why we hold on to hope? Does that make us insane?
I can only speak for myself, but yes. Believing the words that he said, when his actions were saying quite the opposite was, at the least, irrational. I claimed LOVE and HOPE were the reasons I stayed, all the while behaving in a not-so-loving manner, and calling expectations by the name HOPE. Getting angry when my "hopes" weren't fulfilled. Clinging to MY fantasy of what HE should be, rather than accepting who he really was, justifying my self-righteousness and superiority, playing the martyr and the victim, and taking no responsibility at all for the situation. After all, HE was the one with the problem, not I.
It's all clear to me now, in hindsight, but when I was in the midst of it, the denial was way to strong for me to see how truly insane my behavior was.
L