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Old 08-05-2010, 09:31 AM
  # 62 (permalink)  
JenT1968
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
My take on codependency is that it is a set of learned behaviors (coping mechanisms) that can be unlearned.
As do I, but i happen to believe (not that it makes any difference to anyone including me) that a set of behaviours is not an illness, mental or otherwise, and unlearning them is not dependent on them being collectively given a "sickness" label.

I may bandy about the words insane, crazy, nuts, but I don't think of them describing an actual mental illness, I am "crazy" in the same way that I have a "crazy" day or an "insanely" expensive treat.

I have had many tussles with mental illness and although co-dependent behaviours can make me more prone to mental illness, it isn't the same thing. Why medicalise a set of coping strategies/learned behaviours?

I feel no stigma regarding my depression, or the hallucinations that untreated depression leaves me prone to.

But it's a bit like describing all growths as "cancer": they may share common features and sometimes they can lead to cancer, or look like the same thing, but they aren't cancer.

I feel different about "abuse"; that I admit to, but feel shame about, I feel the need to follow it with a quick "but he was worse" so I take your point there.
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