Originally Posted by
user1234 
I need some perspective here. I am a mess. When my husband drinks he gets very mean and verbally abusive. I got scared one night and went to a friends house and was upset. I spoke to the friend about these problems. My husband got very pissed when he found out I discussed this with the friend. He is mad at me and feels betrayed that I shared this info and feels it has ruined his reputation where we live. He left me today and said I shattered his trust for me by lying but not telling him I spoke to the friend and for stabbing him in the back by discussing his drinking. I did not mean to hurt him and I love him but I was genuinely scared and just spilled my guts in tears to the friend. I did not think ahead that it was betraying him. I am so confused that he just cannot forgive me, I mean he was wrong for getting drunk like that too. I am physically sick and miss him. I want him to come home. I don't know if he will.
So sry that you have these troubles hun, you seem like a really nice caring person. This is more than I can say for your husband much as it saddens me to say so. He has managed to manipulate you into thinking everything is your fault. "He feels betrayed that you discussed this with a friend," do you not think that it is you that has been betrayed by him for mentally abusing you. "He cannot forgive you", well, does he think that you should just forgive his abuse and for scaring you like that. He needs to stop distributing the blame onto you and take responsibility for what he has done.
Darling, pls do not beg him to come back, you can use this incident to make things a whole let better by waiting for HIM to realise he will not manage without you out there on his own for sure. Let him beg you to come back and then you can set some very firm ground rules which will need to include him confronting his alcohol abuse and the abuse he doles out to you.
I know you love him and that it is hard, but he also knows you love him and instead of cherishing that love like it deserves to be he is using it as an instrument to get his own way and get away with bad behaviour.
I hope you can do some straight thinking on this and reach a happy conclusion.
God bless