Ugh...
Ugh... so I've been missing AH a LOT lately. We've had very, very, very little contact the past few months - weeks with NC. We have emailed a little in the past 2 weeks and I saw him very briefly. He asked me to call him today and I did. He was sober (on his day off!) and sounded healthy and of course knew exactly what to say. Told me he found a new apt. (his lease is up at the end of the month), that he misses me, that he's been thinking about the holidays and that he would like me to be around for them, that he wants to make our marriage work, that he wants to call xy treatment center and make an appointment, that he knows he needs to proof all of what he's saying to me, but wanted to let me know how he feels, and he asked if I was up for going to counseling with him and if he could see me again soon. It all sounded soo good, BUT I have to remember that I will not just run back to him because of a promise, that words don't count, that I will take my time and wait to see what happens, before I even start seeing that glimmer of hope!!!! ODAT!
I told him I can't promise him anything right now, but that I would be willing to see a counselor with him IF he makes all the arrangements. And now I gotta put all of it out of my mind again and focus on something else, so that I won't start fantasizing! Just wanted to get this out ... thanks for listening
