Holy cow FindingPeace...I read your post and I found myself zoning out on it, just like I did when I was with XAH and he would go on and go, talking us in circles, until I left the conversation feeling frustrated, angry and doubting my own sanity.
All the exchanges with your partner remind me of a SUPER tangled up ball of yarn that's beyond hope...even if it you did manage to untangle the yarn, it would be all damaged from pulling at the thread. Better to throw it out and work on something else...
There comes a point when you just hike up your big girl panties (who used this expression?? I just love it), don the B*tch Mantle and walk away from the madness.