Welcome, You are smart to come here. I am a newbie myself, read for many months, and just began recently to post.
You will find a lot of support and wisdom on these pages. Keep coming back.
Your story touched me, as I know it will touch others who have been where you are.
Remember to take care of you. And try not to stress about the future too much. You are ok today, and you will be ok tomorrow. And the future will come one day at a time. Hang in there.
Al-Anon has helped me tremedously too, to find peace and serenity and calm in my life.