Facing facts.
I'm not sure how to begin. I have been with my bf for almost 13 years. We live together. He drinks several beers a day, and smokes pot every day. Over the years, I've told him I want him to stop, and he tells me he wants to but never does. I hate it but I guess I've come to accept it. Well we had a huge fight because an ex boyfriend texted me. I didn't give him my number, but my bf doesn't believe me. I have lied to my bf about this ex before because he gets so jealous. He called me horrible name and even threw a tomato at me--he's never hurt me like that before. He said it's over, but he hasn't left the house. We haven't spoken in three days, but he is still living here in the other room. Is he 'punishing me' with the silent treatment? Am I only finding fault in his addictions because he's mad at me? I know he will eventually want to 'talk' and, in his mind, give me' another chance. My question is how do I explain that I don't think we should try to keep this relationship going? I want a family, but not with a drunk and pothead. Why is this so hard?