Well the idea that alcohol (or really in my case drugs) was being denied to me would automatically make it a sort of adversarial thing. But no one is denying me anything. It's my choice. If I want to go get a drink or find some dope no one will stop me, no one will lock me in the closet and tell me I can't. I just don't want the consequences so even when I wouldn't mind doing some I just choose not to. It's like a diet for the mind, you choose not to indulge certain appetites.