katie44, i just wanted to say i read this whole thread and well reality is you are sooooo right in everything you are doing....... does that help the pain and hurt? nooo of course it doesnt...but if you were to keep bailing him out of his messes.... truth is you are right he will never get better...or want to get better...
i am a addicted for the last 11 years and boy oh boy have i put my kids boyfried and most of all brother threw living hell......
truth is... and i hate admitting it...but truth is that as long as i never had to really really 100% face what i had done... head on......i would always keep running from it all ( and to me that means not getting better)
threw my 11 years i have used and misused and lied and stolen from everyone that ever loved and trusted me..... and never really cared well i was in active use... OF COURSE I DID CARE...BUT WHEN IN ACTIVE USE WE MAKE OURSELFS REALLY BELIEVE WE ARE THE VICTIMS..... it is sooo sick and i hate myself for all i have ever done....... i now am ready to fight for my life and i do understand that i might never have some of them people back in my life....EVER
and that is something i am going to have to learn to live with and no that it is cause of the choices i made....
that is the hardest thing for me cause i hate the fact that i have hurt and used anyone that ever cared for me...
but truth is that inless we want our lifes to be different.... there is nothing anyone can ever do for us to make us better...... its sad and sick...but we need to want it for us....
i tryed for my kids cause omg do i love my kids..... but as sick as this is.... it didt work....cause i was not really ready down in my soul.... i am today ..... i am only sorry it took 11 years
cause them are a long 11 years i will never get back and like i said i might never get alot of important people back....
but rather i do or i dont... i am praparing for that and will not let it stop me...casue now its life that i want more then anything..... and if i dont stop i will lose my life.... i know this is it for me... i am ready to fight for me now..... i was only getting on to say that you are right and that the things he is saying to you right now is for you to just get him out of his messes right now..... and i think you are a very strong person and am sooo doing the right thing for him and for you......i wanted to thank you... cause it helps me even more so then i already do...see what the other side feels and goes threw....
i have been clean sense the 21st and have been fighting... and doing everything i can to get into a treatment.... cause i no it is what i need...no it is not the answeres to everything... but i feel its the 1st step for me... in what i no will be a life time of fighting everyday to be all i can be.... i need a long term treatment... i am going to a year or more program... cause i no the 1st step for me is learning who i am and learning how to change and deal with ALOT AND I MEAN ALOT OF ISSUES that i feel made me what i am today.....i no that is just the 1st step of many many... i also no 100% in my hear and soul i am 200% ready am going to fight this with everything i got and when i dont feel like i have anymore i will pray for more strenth from god...but one way or another i am not letting this addiction win anymore... it got enough from me... now its time i get in the driver seat and take control....
again sorry for going on and on and on
there is so much i could still go on and on
but i just wanted to thank you cause your post are what i needed to read today.... thanks
and i wish you all the best... and i will pray for your son that he will one day wake up and have had enough and want different......i am sure he is a good person in his heart and would love to be different for the people he loves
good luck and again thanks
Jen