hi posie-
just brainstorming about the 25 minute away problem. perhaps could be solved by him only visitng DD locally in her own neighborhood? for example, the local swimming pool , park or restaurant. that way, she always has an exit if it is somewhere reachable by her with her bicycle. she can leave on her own power, if so, without relying on him to take her home if her boundary is crossed. she can just cycle home.
another alternative is that she always has a mobile phone and money to pay a 25 minute taxi with her. like an "i'm going to dad's kit" that she takes with her so she has a way out.
but really, she doesn't want to see him, which is the bottom line.
as for your alone time, well, there are many ways in which to acheive that...girls at that age love to spend the night with their friends, there is aunts and uncles and there's always paying someone to watch them while you have a night out with yourself.
i know for myself, it is critical that i get some time to myself. perhaps talk with the girls and get their ideas as to how you can accomplish some solo time in the house for yourself. they might have some ideas, like they go to the library together every saturday morning to give you some space....
naive