SO many mistakes I made. Being there for him for two days. I slept with him which I now MAJORLY regret, seeing as how who knows who he's been iwth since we've been broken up. I'll make a doctors appointment to get tested ASAP and can only pray that I will be alright. I took him to see his family. When we got there they had just woken up, and were hungover, and automatically popped open beers and offered him one at 10AM. He was trying to convince me he was done drinking and turned it down. Told his family that alcohol took his mother and that he couldn't even consider it. I sensed no sincerity in his voice and knew it was just a show. Later that night, on Sunday, I dropped him off at home at 8. He said he wouldn't answer the phone because he was going to sleep. I knew right then that he was going to go out and get drunk.
He called me at 12AM (when the bar closed) and told me he just woke up and was so stressed and couldn't stop sweating. I told him he had been drinking and that I couldn't talk to him anymore, that I tried to be there for him, but he still continues to lie. He told me "how dare you accuse me of drinking, you are supposed to be here for me and you are just making everything worse." Even the next day he called and was still standing his ground saying he wasn't drunk. I told him to never talk to me again.
So the wake was Tuesday and of course I wasn't there because I cannot stand the pain of seeing him or talking to him anymore. Ever since then he's been harassing me saying that I should feel like a bad person for not being there for him, that he put his heart into me being there and I stomped on it. He said that God will get me back for what I did to him, and that he's praying for it, mind you this man doesn't even believe in God. He called at 12AM last night and wanted me to bring a necklace that his mom gave him that he left here. I told him I'd put it in his mailbox tomorrow, and he said if I really loved him I'd give him what he needed right then. He also said I only think about myself.
I just cannot understand how someone can be so blind, so hypocritical. There is no love in his heart, and although it seems crazy, it seems like he doesn't even really feel the pain of losing his mother and is using it more as leverage to try to get to me. How evil is that? I am drained and mad and sometimes wish it were him that went instead of his mother.